Maia's Birth Story

I realize that I've already written this but looking back it's much different and I have so much more to say than I did the first time.


Maia's date of birth was a HUGE mystery to us all. Even when I was pregnant we had all guessed that she would probably come at the end of August. As I think back now and know what I know, God obviously knew that August was too early and definitely not "the month". I was due for September 8th, 2009.


About a week and half before she was born I was convinced that I was in labor. And after being sent home at 2 cm dilated and 90% effaced I was discouraged, to be honest and those freaking braxton and hicks continued until I ultimately went in to have Maia.  It was hard for me, I was really struggling. As most women know, the first baby is exciting and the anticipation was killing me, so I thought.

September 8th had come and gone and I had an appointment on the 9th. The doctor pulled me back into the room, took my weight and we had discussed what I would like ultimately for the birth of Maia. We talked about everything...including what would happen if I accidentally went to the bathroom while in labor and if anyone would know...ahaha. I was comfortable with her because she too was a christian and had gone on several medical missions trips and this was extremely comforting to me. I was put up on the table for my exam and with a very surprised expression she said..."um sweetie, I would have to guess that I'll be seeing you in a couple days to give birth, you're 3.5 cm dilated and 100% effaced!"
 

The whole time leading up to this point I was hoping and praying that she'd have a sign or signal that this child was going to come and then she gave the word and I was scared. It had dawned on me that this really was about to happen. Jose had arrived on August 22 and from that point forward it was a big waiting game. And he kept telling me at first that he wasn't ready. On the 4th he looked at me and said, "okay, you can have her now" and we laughed and joked but I know that God brought her to us when we really were both ready. Or as ready as we could be hahaha.

So the rest of the day on the 9th and 10th I had decided that she would come when it was time and that I had a few days left to enjoy my pregnancy. Those two days were pretty awesome and everyone at that point was waiting and betting on her birth. At one point my step father made the comment..."remember when I said she'd come on the 11th? Well, she's coming on the 11th." The night before the 11th we had gone to the YMCA, walked the track as my mom and I had done all summer and then I proceeded to not only play volleyball but basketball as well and I did a few cartwheels. Yes, cartwheels!!! I don't know exactly what was going through my head.


The morning of September 11, my younger brother, Jason called and asked if I'd watch my nephew, Isaiah. I agreed and he showed up around 9 am with Isaiah in tow. Around 10 he had started to get cranky so I got a blanket and put him the stroller and took him on a walk. About halfway through the walk I had realized that my panties were wet. And it dawned on me that when I had first woken up I had to change my panties because they were soaked. And when Isaiah came I changed them again, I thought I was peeing myself to be honest. Between allergies and laughing I was pretty sure that I was peeing myself. But on the walk, all of the sudden I thought..."oh crap, what if I'm leaking fluid?"

I called my mom and asked her what she had thought about it and she said, "I'm on my way, go home, pack your bag. We're going to the hospital."  I went home, woke Jose up and told him to pack a bag "cuz we're going to the fricken hopsital". My mom pulled up and my grandma was in the car, ready to go. We dropped Isaiah off with my brother and we were off. I wasn't feeling anything to be honest. Just nervous. I was afraid that they'd send me home again.


We arrived at the hospital and they took me back into a room to monitor things and see if I really was in labor or whatever. But they took me alone and Jose was left out front. I was nervous. The doctors came in and I explained what I thought had happened. They took some samples and checked my cervix and it was extremely painful. I was at 4 cm dilated and steady contractions (didn't really hurt). The nurse and young doctor then left the room. They came in and said that they didn't get any results for amniotic fluid in the tests so they thought they'd monitor me for another hour.

Within that hour I had gone to the bathroom and passed a huge blood clot and freaked out. I laid in the bed and almost minutes after using the bathroom the monitor started to blink rapidly and make a siren sound. The doctors rushed in and I had noticed my doctor behind the one that took my samples an hour earlier. They rushed me in for an emergency ultrasound and told me not to worry...but it was when they had told me not to worry that I began to worry. The young doctor looked at me and rubbed my arm and said, "you're gonna have a baby tonight, she's in distress and there's very very little amniotic fluid surrounding her". They put me on a bed and told my family to follow me upstairs.


As soon as I got upstairs I was stuck several times until they got an IV drip going. At this point I was still totally shocked. I had honestly thought I was going home. Jose was standing right next to me, rubbing my shoulder. I could see my grandma and mom staring at me, smiling. My grandma clapping and swaying saying how excited she was to finally see Maia.

The nurse came in and set up the pitocin. I hadn't really felt anything to terrible up till this point and it was within about 10-15 minutes that I had become increasingly aware that the freaking contractions were more and more painful. I would be talking and as soon as I felt the contraction it was as if I couldn't focus on anything else. Just an extreme pain was radiating through my entire body but mainly my back. I couldn't talk, move, listen, think...it was horrifying. After what seemed like a few minutes the doctor came in to check my cervix. In reality it had been about an hour and a half. I was still at 4 and so she had decided to break my water completely.
 

Holy freaking wombats!! The pain that I thought was pain became horrible. And not to mention, the whole.."let's break your water thing and create the sensation of an ocean flowing out of your vag" was totally disgusting. I felt just, yucky. Yucky is the best word to describe this. I really tried to hold off drugs of any kind for as long as I possibly could. For 20 whopping minutes actually. That's when they tried to convince me to get an epidural and I settled for Demoral through the IV.

Things went from terribly uncomfortable to terribly horrifying. The Demoral was not well recieved with my body. My body reacted strongly to it. The room started to spin very fast and I couldn't move my tongue. Hell, I couldn't tell you what was up and what was down. I was no longer aware of anything but the pain in my body and not being able to tell the doctors that the drugs were doing nothing at all except for screwing me.

Through this time I really don't have memory until after having given birth. I remember sitting up and bloody water gushed from me, all over the floor and poor nurse, Becky. I remember her telling me not to worry about her new shoes and that she buys new shoes often. I remember Jose holding my hand and kissing me through the pain that I couldn't tell anyone that I was in. I remember him talking to me telling me it would be over soon.

I don't remember to agreeing to two epidurals (because the first apparently failed) I don't remember getting them. I remember looking up and seeing my doctor and she said sternly..."you NEED to concentrate, when I say push, you PUSH for 10 seconds, can you do that for me?" I remember pushing once. I apparently only had to push for 17 minutes because then, Maia was born. Becky said, "look down, look down, here she comes" but I didn't see anything. I remember my grandma crying and not making sense of a single word she was saying. I remember her thanking me too. I remember bits. Just fragmented pieces.

My memory comes back to me when everyone had left the room and I could no longer hear Maia's heart monitor. I began to panic. Because I had not remembered giving birth, I thought she died. I began to urgently press the nurse button and tears started to wash down my face. Why had everyone left me? Why can't I hear my baby's heart?


Becky rushed in. She looked at me and said, "honey, she's beautiful. She's in the nursery and extremely healthy. Her daddy will bring her into you"...


Now at this point (in my head) I had thought...I had a child out of wedlock...God gave me an ugly baby ( I hadn't even seen her yet). So everyone had walked back in and they were all telling me how tiny she was. How beautiful she was and they brought her in. I just stared at the bundle. I couldn't really see her but I didn't want to hold her. I was in pain and the epidural had started to kick in....a little late. I wanted to enjoy her. I wanted to feel "joy" when I held her.


So everyone took a turn and passed her in front of me and my heart yearned to hold her. Which was not the feeling I had felt seconds before. I took a hold of her and instantly I felt something so powerful. Jose was crying and I didn't know what to think. God had not only given me a healthy baby...but a "BEAUTIFUL" baby! I was so in love. Something inside me broke and I had realized a new a different kind of love. Nothing I have ever felt before but also a new understanding for my parents and an appreciation. Nothing they have done was ever done selfishly and it took me having a baby to realize that.



We decided that Maia(Maya) Joy was the name, we knew it for a while. But it was real and I wanted her to bring joy no matter the circumstance. I want her to know that she is not just a joy, but a gift from God. And that she was planned in HIS book of life. She has a purpose, she's not a mistake. That night was beautiful for me.


Looking back, I can never forget that night. The smells, the feel, the visual pictures in my mind. And a new love was reborn between Jose and I. We had just conquered the world TOGETHER. But looking back at that night has also frustrated me, I feel anger, sadness, and bitterness toward my hospital experience. I feel like I was gypped of my birthing experience. I have come to decide that my next child(ren) will be born at a birthing center or at home. I want to experience a drug free birth. I want to hold my baby immediately and I want to sing happy birthday to them. I know that Maia was right where she needed to be and I'm so glad and thankful to the team that delivered her safely, but I know from this experience what I want from my next...so we shall see :]


PS- I only have cell pics because Jose's computer has our hospital pictures :D