3&4 of 33 Days of Pilates

I feel pain in my butt. Yes you heard me, pain in my BUTT. A good work out leaves it's mark, and it sureeee did. But I must say that I'm very proud of myself, given, it's only day four, but I'm already starting to feel better about myself. I have found that doing pilates is a time for myself to relax, be alone, focus on my goals, not feel awkward about anyone watching me. It's extremely therapeutic.

My life lately feels very out of control, and choosing to do pilates and stick with it and how hard I push myself is totally in my control and it feels good. Now don't go running, I'm not aiming to be a control freak by any means, it's just nice to feel like I can be in control of something. I feel badly for writing that now simply beacuse I haven't asked for God to help me through this lately. I know for a FACT that when I pray for Him to take control and do His will, that the ending is never bittersweet or sour, and perhaps I should consider this. :[

I realize that a lot of you are asking how Jose and I are doing as a couple and how this thing is going to work with Maia....who will be where and yaddeeh yah yah. As for right now this is what has happened and been happening. He came to Missouri in late August and stayed with Maia and I until late December when we all flew back to Costa Rica together. Maia and I will be returning to Missouri come February 28...without Jose :[ From there, we're not sure yet, I know that his focus is school and it would be terribly selfish of me to keep Maia away from him until he finishes or what have you, so I've decided that I will be returning to Costa Rica for the long run. It breaks my heart that he's going to have to miss a few months as it is and I can't bare for him to miss out on her first words, steps, teeth...My heart is completely in this relationship and I want Jose to be there for every big moment and small. So if that means that I put my own schooling on hold or I take online courses, then so be it. I will manage. I love him a lot. He means everything to me and I want him to have that place in Maia's life as well.

So off the bunny trail, Day 4 of pilates is behind...looking forward to finishing the first week. Keep us in your prayers,

Sonya