So Maia's had a pacifier since day one. I never really took my time to educate myself about the pros and cons. I just kinda thought they were cute and that most kids had them. I also didn't realize the addictions (for parents and kids) that come with them. I knew that I had picked a kind (MAM) after trial and error that were "said" to be good for her teeth - "recommended by dentists". And I had also read that they're good the first few months to prevent SIDS. What I didn't expect at all was the attachment on both ends.
The paci or as Maia calls it "Peta" (pay-tah) or "paki" (pock-ee) has been a nice go-to for crying or anxiety. I love traveling with it because we've been 9 international trips now and the minute she starts sucking, she's calmed down and falls asleep before we even take off. It's been a huge help in that area.
But as soon as Maia turned 2, we became anxious about getting rid of it. I was nervous about her teeth...Jose just wants it gone. 2 seemed like a nice age. But shoot - her birthday came and went and after a series of "giving it up" it's RIGHT back in our life again. We only have one...and this last one has numbered days on it.
Costa Rica doesn't sell MAM pacifiers. So once this one is gone - it's gone. There's no more. There's no giving in and going to Walmart. It's just totally out. And the more it's on it's way out, I've realized that I am the one with a pacifier addiction. Yeah, put that sucker in my mouth and I fall asleep...haha NO - totally breaking your leg. Not that way, at least.
For me personally, I feel like the pacifier has really kinda aided Maia through some tough stuff. Sure, we travel a LOT and we get to go to cool places and see some really awesome stuff but that's just it. She really doesn't have a stable environment. We live in Costa Rica but we have to be out ever 90 days so sometimes we go to the US for a few months to visit my family - but because Jose's in school he can't join. And that's a few months that Maia misses time with her father. Or the time that I didn't see her for 3 weeks because I was attending my best friends wedding. This seems petty to me - but I can only imagine the anxiety she must feel with her environments changing SO often. And so the paci has kinda aided in that.
Some kids have a blanket addiction, others a stuffed animal, and some a thumb. Maia has her paci. And so when it's gone when she's about to go to sleep - not only does she freak out, but I do too. Like, I go crazy. I will turn the house upside down. I've heard that I'm "coddling" her...blah blah blah. But you listen to your little one heart broken and it kills you. So the idea of the paci just GONE - frightens me.
So recently I started researching. I then read that you can poke holes in the pacifier and it will lose its suction and eventually - they give it up. Easy peasy. It's given up on their own, we don't take it from her - it's a process and we're all happy. So we try and as she looses interest we don't feel like it's fast enough (or just Jose for that matter). So he says "cut off the tip". I cut the tip and Maia finds out and she starts kind of crying "it's broken!". But I noticed that during the day she just likes the paci hanging in her mouth she doesn't suck it. At night that's when she really sucks it. It helps her fall asleep. And so now that the suction is nearly gone she gets more frustrated at night than during the day - she doesn't want it at night because it no longer serves it's function. So it's just cutting the "hanging out thing" during the day.
MAN!!! This sucks!!! I really hate the stupid paci and our addiction haha. I feel like it's the thing that still makes her a baby. She still needs that sucking comfort when she goes to sleep and it keeps her little to me....haha the joys of learning eh?
Does anyone else have a hard time or is this just me?
14 comments:
We are approaching 2 and I have some family telling me I need to stop letting kaela have it during the day and just leaving it in the crib..which I often do, but when her heart is broken or she's really hurt herself, she is sooo comforted with her paci so I'm stayin grelaxed about it:) Sounds to me like you're doing a good job with slowly weaning her off, just don't forget to hang on to these last few "baby" months! xoxo
I could have written this post myself! It's on my blog schedule this week actually, to ask advice on giving it up.
Gavin is approaching 2 in a few months and we're dealing with the same thing. I sometimes think I'm more attached to it than he is. I have a 6 month old who uses one and having TWO kids and TWO sets of pacis to keep track of is exhausting, lol.
I tried cutting the tip off of one and that just frustrated the hell out of him. Our new rule is he can ONLY have it in bed at nap and bed time and I always make sure I have one with us when we leave the house - just in case. When he's being a terror, I cave in and give him one. He also has a lovey that he carries around - so I know once the paci IS gone, he will still have his monkey..
I'm thinking when he turns 2, the paci fairy is going to leave him a letter asking him to leave them for all of the new babies and leave him a new toy in exchange. I feel like by the time he's 2 he'll better understand what's going on.
Good luck! :)
Rylin just turned one & her peditrician said her "pucker" needs to go but she is more addicted to it then ever. I try to just give it to her at male, in the car, and at bed time but she usually finds one during the day. And I'm not gonna lie, I like it. I think its cute, it makes her happy, it keeps her quiet and content if we are out of the house. I too am addicted to it.
I sucked my thumb till I was 10 then traded that habbit for nail biting which I still do when I'm anxious. I plan on replacing rylins paci with another security object like a lovie or a blankie.
I've heard some moms tell there kids the paci fairy is comming to get it to give to another baby who really needs it but the fairy is going to leave them something in its place (insert folly, lovie, blanky)
Ahh, I'm right there with you Sonya! I wish I had never given a paci to Ellie! She didn't take it for the the first 3 months of her life, and around month 4, she had a period where her sleep went to hell, and I sort of "forced" her to start using one. Turns it out, it helped, but since then she needs it to sleep every single night! It only stays in her crib, and is never allowed to leave the crib, and she's okay with it. She doesn't need it at all during the day...just to sleep. But the older she gets, the more aware she is of it, and the harder it is to take it away! And I HATE breaking her heart, so I just don't have the heart to take it away! :-(
♥ Kyna
(so after all that, sorry, I have no helpful advice for ya!)
Ryan only had a paci for 9 months then he was done with it BUT I was his human pacifer if you catch my drift. he would nurse for the same reasons other kids would grab a paci, to this day he still falls asleep making sucking motions with his mouth its kind of weird! I dont think you are alone in this, I was scared to take away BF because it was the one sure thing to make him calm, comfortable, and happy. it made him feel secure-- just like M's paci. Its nerve wracking for a parent!
I have heard of the paci fairy coming to take the paci's to new babies who need them more and bringing a new lovey or comfort item in its place its a lot less traumatic that way I think than cutting the top off. Mom shouldnt ever break or hurt their favorite thing on purpose!
It will get harder though the older she gets, I think she is past the point of out growing it on her own and its so ingrained a part of who she is :/ mama intervention time... GOOD LUCK!
My son is almost two and we are in the EXACT same position. We've moved several times since he was born- just moved before Thanksgivig and will most likey be moving again in the next 6-9 months. It's hard because I almost feel guilty taking it away because I see how comforting it is to him. We are slowing weaning off it right now but naptime and bedtime is HARD. wish us luck and same to you!
Girl I am right there with you! Julianna is 19 months and I "know" the binky has to go. Soon. But I can't bring myself to do it. I am terrified. SHe just loves it so much. I know she won't go to college with a binjy in her mouth LOL - so I know between now & then, it will go away ... but I keep putting off the inevitable. My thing is, I feel it is interfering with her talking... or the ability to say words correctly... so that makes me a little anxious to take it away sooner than later.
We were going to do a rehab weekend on thanksgiving weekend - since it was a long weekend, but then we had company, so we decided not to. And here we are going into january soon, and still no rehab weekened planned for the binky. Maybe New Years weekend? Maybe next year? LOL. I feel your pain. This just sucks. And you are right. It IS an addiction - no doubt. For both me, my husband & Julianna! We all love the benefits of the binky! HAHA!
It wasn't hard for skylee, it was hard for me. I know how you feel about wanting to keep her a baby for as long as you can. Skylee has been off it for a while now, but sometimes I see babies with theirs and I miss it.
i had the hardest time getting hailyn off a bottle at night, yknow cuz it messes up their teeth if you put em to sleep with milk.. i didnt know that, which is why i started it... it took me months to get MYSELF to stop giving it to her! she needed it! like you said, they need that stability! that comfort.. i wished she would get hooked on a lovie (stuffed animal or blanket) like i had when i was a kid... and the whole fact she could drink a baba was so amazing, with the feeding tube n all...
its hard. really. and your doin' the best you can! you'll get through it, it will suck, (pun only kind of intended haa) but it will end one day and you can all sigh relieved =] and i dont know, but i dont think pacis really mess up their teeth too bad.. just stay strong miss mama. =] maybe give her something new to love, like a taggie blankie. she can suck on the silky taggies and snuggle the blankie.
I wrote a post almost exactly like this one. Around my daughter's second birthday, I tried getting rid of it. I'm definately more attached to it than she is. I know if I just take it away, yes, it will be rough, but she'll get over it. But it's the tough part that's just so ...well, tough! I absolutely hate hearing her cry because she's upset over something. It just breaks my heart. Knowing that's it's my fault (that I took it away) & that there's something I can do to help (give it back) just kills me to not do it. So I did it. I gave it back. She will be three in just a few months. She still uses it.
you were tagged in my post http://nikkidarlin.blogspot.com/2011/12/guess-what-you-just-got-tagged.html
We ditched the pacifier at six months (only bc we lost them all and didn't want to keep buying more haha). We were so proud....until we realized his pacifier is the bottle. He currently sleeps with an empty bottle everynight and although we get slack for all the gas he could potentially have, I just see it sit in his mouth for comfort. I've tried getting rid of it but like you said, with us traveling, etc. etc. there is just never a good time. Our doc said it was ok though even past 2 despite what critics say. I would cut a hole if I could but I'm afraid he'll bite the plastic off the nipple. ARG the frustrations of being a mom! lol
I don't have this problem but, we have the thumb issue.. It's tough so i know what you are talking about!!
In our sea of love
Aww cute photos! I have talked to many mama's about when to stop with the paci. and its all about what you are comfortable with.
I tagged you in a post!
http://ambergioiasmith.blogspot.com/2012/01/tag.html
Post a Comment