I know this is a touchy subject, which is why I kind have avoided it in general. BUT I'm not here to please anyone or their opinions. Having grown up in a household where discipline was strong and the ground beneath it's lesson was the Bible, I firmly believe in disciplining. I also believe in attachment parenting - a definition I had NOOO idea about until after my daughter was born. After learning about it tho, my goal is to wed the two together. I don't believe it's right to spank a child before they have any idea what's going on and can even help it. And that's kind of where the attachment method comes in for me. God doesn't hit us when we do wrong BUT he still disciplines us.
My general outlook towards this subject has come a long way and I've really developed my own opinions on it. I KNOW that Maia is going to test me, I KNOW that she's going to see how far she can go with things and get away with stuff, and so knowing this I HAVE to have rules in place so that I can properly guide her. And for me right here and right now it's timeouts. She HATES being put in the corner and now that she's starting to talk, I get to hear it a little louder. And after her timeout, we talk it out. Once she's calmed and can look at my face and know that I'm being serious, we talk. And she walks away with a better understanding of her boundaries.
So yesterday, we're watching Mad Men and Jose says, "Sonya, look at our daughter. Look at her! She's putting her doll on a timeout." And with that you see Maia setting the doll in a chair and pointing saying, "no no nooo! Sit...." and I am just SHOCKED. I don't know if this is good or bad or what. But I had to look away and bite my lips...what do you do!? And then I laughed silently. When someone tells me my 2 year old doesn't understand - I say, BS. She fully comprehends the situation. I will continue the timeout method until it no longer works...then we'll move on from there...oh JESUS help me :]
PS- We were featured over here at Great Expectations by Kyna on Monday. I'd really love if you stopped over and if you're not following - jump on that. She is such a BEAUTIFUL lady and her family is amazing. She is such a positive person with a bright outlook, I enjoy her wisdom filled blogging and style of writing. Head over. You won't be disappointed!!
11 comments:
I love the bottom picture of Maia! How precious is she?!! What a fabulous thing that you talk things out with her - what a mature and adult thing to do... and she respects you as mommy b/c she is listening. So sweet. Good job Mama! I am making notes for when my time comes in a few months.
I completely agree with you! Kaiden is at the point now where (even though he is young) he clearly knows when he is not supposed to do something. It breaks my heart to tell him "No" but now I realize what my parents meant when they said "This hurts me more than this hurts you." They wanted what was best for me and it hurt them to see me upset. It's sad that you have to keep your "discipline" on the down low these days but good for you for being willing to share. I dread the day when it's time for Kaiden to get a spanking or go on time out haha.
I seriously couldn't agree with you more. Davis is only two. So my issue now is how can I teach him not to hit if I'm going to spank him?! So time outs, little talks, and discipline it is. It is so hard sometimes, though. UGH. How these kids will test you!!!
I LOVE the pictures. Absolutely precious.
I completely agree! Kids need discipline but they also need to be able to understand! Glad to see you blogging again! Mia is getting so big and is absolutely gorgeous!
You're doing the right thing! Kids need consistency and even discipline (when it is fair and administrated with LOVE!)
SO TRUE! I think every kid responds to discipline differently. I have a friend who could talk nicely to her two yr. old when she is not obeying until her ears bleed. The child just does not respond to time out. And then I have another friend who has a two yr old and she only has to look at her, and the child gets back in shape. This subject terrifies me a little bit, since we've started the discipline with our own almost 10 month old daughter. She knows what 'NO' means, so thank God that most days she does pretty well when we ask her not to do something. I'm still learning how to deal with the rest of the days...
PS: Thanks for stopping by. Your blog is gorgeous :-) and so is your little girly!
timeouts seem to work for us for the most part. There are days when staying in the corner just doesn't work and I kinda give in. (which I know I shouldnt do but her crying just breaks my heart). We also take away her favorite toys for a period of time.
It's hard to know what to do exactly. We just have to d what we as parents think is right.
Good Luck.
Your daughter has the most beautiful face...those eyes are stunning.
Holy crap she looks so much like you now!! Her eyes are just gorgeous! It would be hard to discipline that cute little face!
But seriously, I think every mom has to figure this out for themselves. Once you realize the great responsibility that a child is, and that they depend on you to shape who they are, it's a little easier to find your parenting style and set those boundaries for you and your kiddo. Sounds like you've definitely found what works for you guys!
Aw girl, I really struggle with this! I know, I know, I know it is our job as parents to discipline. But why does it have to be so heartbreaking when you see their sad faces when you put them on time out or raise your voice? I know it's just going to get harder the older Ellie gets and the more I have to discipline her...good job always sticking to your discipline beliefs with Maia! She'll be a better person because of it. Now if only I could follow my own advice! :-)
♥ Kyna
i have no words, other than your daughter is one of THE most beautiful little girls i have ever seen.
you are blessed -- but i'm sure you already know that :)
xo, lauren [let it be.]
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