me as a mommy.

I think that a little after I became pregnant, I have put my identity as "mommy". I honestly don't know that I'd know what to do with myself if Maia were to not ever be apart of my life anymore which makes this coming week terribly hard on me.

Jose and I have decided that after his 4 month period of being without Maia that she'd leave to Costa Rica with him this Wednesday while I stay in the states to stand behind my best friend at her wedding on the 25th. I'll then join them in Costa Rica on the 30th of September...Plane ticket-CHECK

22 days without Maia. 3 weeks. I realize that this time is incredibly a small amount, but still...I struggle. I cry. What am I going to do with myself? What if she needs me? What if she misses me? What if I wake up and go to her crib to pick her up forgetting she's not here. I'm scared. I'm nervous. It's just 3 weeks. Just 3 weeks....3 weeks.

But maybe something beautiful will come of this. Maybe I'll find myself again, oustide of being a mommy. Maybe I'll just enjoy a quiet morning. Maybe....I don't know. But I pray the upcoming 3 weeks fly fast. God bring me peace to my hurting heart. Protect them and keep them safe.

Jose is a great father. He deserves this time with her. She needs to know that he's just as important as I am. She needs him. And he needs her. It's important to me that they have time alone to bond. So here I go...sending out the two people I cherish the most. Enjoy your father-daughter time. I'm going to miss the beans out of you two beautiful people.

xoxo,
Me