I've been absent for a while and my response is simple. I've been soaking up life. And breathing in the holiday season. Deeply inhaling the small moments and embedding them into my memory for years and years to come.
Our Christmas was wonderful. I've never had a Christmas like this and I wouldn't change it for the world...Maia was just hilarious to watch. I now know why my parents recorded us because it's fun to watch. And there's just so many little moments that take your breath away with un-seizing laughter and snorting. {really, some people do snort when the laugh, it's cute} ha.
And in between all of this excitement, Maia and I prepped for a trip.
Maia and I took voyaged a 9 hour trip {2 airplanes, 3 cities} to WISCONSIN on December 28! Talk about extreme change!!! 3 weeks of ice cold bitterness and amazing friends and family.
We spent New Years celebrating with close friends and my brother and his new gal, Steph joined. These moments are the ones I was cherishing...my brother recently went through one heck of a life change and hugging him was just...refreshing. He had his joy back. He was content, he was proud of himself, and most importantly he's excited for his future. Growing up in my family we had learned that there are no walls, no separations...and because of that mindset, we're all closer than best friends. There is a bond that is irreplaceable. Without saying anything too personal, the last few years have been quite a ride. So as I watched my brother soak up laughter, truth, and joy I smiled and held onto the moment because God is faithful and I saw His promise in action.
Yesterday we went and visited my bestest, Nicole Elizabeth Grayspot Ramen Noodle Shimmer Kaiser Shirk Hummer {hahaha I won't explain} aka: Nikki. She has a little Teacup Chihuahua named Bentley and boy Maia picked his name up FAST and followed him EVERYWHERE. I love this woman. I love her. We've got a pretty thick relationship, deep layers. She knows me inside out and I care for her more than words can put out.
Yesterday wasn't easy for me. Because as much as I love her and prancing into her house and wrapping my arms around her until we both are out of breath because we hug so tight and never want to let go...I hated the great sadness that has taken over in the house. The taboo word that hung over our heads reminding us of a greater situation. Cancer. Her mom is very sick. And as we sobbed in the car outside of Target trying to figure out God's timing, secrets, plans...I couldn't help but feel guilty for taking advantage of life. While I sat crying for my best friend she then whispered, "When I'm silent, I am listening...not abandoning" and I could hear her desire to just have a moment with God.
When I first met her she told me 5 things about herself...the first on her list said something like this..."my mom and my sister are MY LIFE. Don't mess with them". And she really does have a beautiful, STRONG relationship with her mother. One that I envied. So as my best friend is soaking up the last two months of her mother's life and arranging for her mother to have the BEST funeral, I have challenged myself to soak up every bit of life because I will NEVER take it for granted again.
Bring it on 2011.
15 comments:
Your pictures are amazing. your daughter is lovely. Your stories are insightful...XOXO
LOVE!!! I could look at your pictures all day!
Awesome photos!! I LOVE her little sandals. I want a pair in my size! ;)
I love the photos! :)
I will be praying for your bestfriend and her mom.
I just read this and cried...again. I long for a moment with Jesus. A moment to call my own. A moment for just a few seconds I don't feel The Great Sadness around me. A moment of peace that only comes from Jesus.
It's January, and I've only got two months left with her. What if I don't make her proud? Did you know I was going to ask her to walk me down the aisle when I got married? Not my dad, not Ray...my mother.
I'm getting this tattoo for her. Well, a second one. Yeah. Guess what? I'll never be able to spend another birthday with her. No more holidays. Just an empty house, and a warm blanket of Sadness surrounding my life, letting the darkness sink in slowly, like the cancer that killed her.
I love you more than you'll ever know.
xox.
I love all of your pictures!
Sonya.
this post really got me. i try and read your blog and look at all the lovely pictures as much as i can. but today, it wasn't just the pictures. reading about your time with nikki was just almost too much to take in. at this moment i don't know how it feels to lose a mother but i do know how it feels to lose someone so close to you.it's almost been a year since my baby sister died..and it just hurts. i'll keep you and nikki and nikki's family in my prayers..as we are all part of the LW family and bigger yet His family.
~teia
Girl, your pictures are always so amazing. As I was reading through this post I kept thinking to myself "I'm gonna comment and say this ones my favorite" then I'd see the next picture and I'd be like "I'm gonna say this one AND the last one were my favorite." By the end I'd concluded that I couldnt have just one favorite. Their all amazing. You have a real talent mama.
My heart is with your friend and her mother.
Love your words, keep telling your story!
Sorry to hear about your friend's mom. I know personally how horrible it is to have cancer rip your family away too soon. I pray for her and you.
p.s.
I love your photos. I'm kinda jealous!
Such a touching post... tearing up as I write. Nikki and her mom are in my prayers. God only knows why and how come... all the ins and outs. Someday we may understand but for now we can only lean on him and eachother during the tough times. I am sure that it helped so much for you to be there with Nikki during this time. All the best to you and yours.
yay for the holidays! love all the pictures :)
You mean it gets better as they get older? We are loving our 7 month old now so much, I can't imagine getting much better or I might bust at the seams! LOL. That made me smile! And I love the p icture of your husband and daughter on his shoulders. What a beautiful shot.
I am praying for your friend's mom... cancer is ugly. My mom went through it too.
Oh my goodness. This was so touching. I am so sorry to hear about your friend's mom. I will be sending warm prayers and thoughts to her.
Your pictures are just gorgeous. And that little Maia is absolutely adorable. Can't wait to see more of her (and your work) in 2011 :)
@shuttermama: the pictures are awesome! makes you just want to sigh and think happy thoughts. :)
keep on clicking that shutter.
if it's ok, can i use some of your pics on my posts? I'd counter link it back to your site too.
www.altheneinterrupted.blogspot.com
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